Saturday, 14 September 2013

Farewell My Confinement - My moment with you now is ending

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? One minute you're cursing the never ending pregnancy and the outstretched days being overdue, and then the three day labour and then the exhausting early weeks and then the difficult 'stay at home mum' months and the next minute it's ... over. Where did that go?

My University course start date has slyly sneaked up on me and, if the nursery fees are anything to go by, I may have to work along side it. Before I knew it, I suddenly realised I have one week of 'Confinement', 'maternity leave' left. And so it seems a good time to close the door on this blog.

Ironically,  it has only been over the last couple of weeks that I have really started to enjoy my maternity leave. It took me a very long time to feel confident in taking my son out and about - and I had just got the hang of public transport with him and restaurants with him and wheeling him out and about.

Yesterday I went for a long walk and passed a small park. Strangely there was no one in the play area except one man and his son struggling with the slide (laughter, laughter, tears, laughter, laughter, tears). I saw that there was a small swing, swaying on its own in the autumn breeze. Would he sit in that? Is he old enough? I wondered.

I crept into the park, took him out of his buggy and placed him in the small swing. He fit. He sat upright. He looked confused... and intrigued. Ever so carefully I steadily rocked him to and fro, to and fro. Slowly a gummy smile spread across his small face and he let out a few giggles.

I was going to miss this, miss him so much. I have wasted so much of this precious time together. I am going to miss this peace, this togetherness, this absolute gift of time with my baby boy. Soon I will be neck high in text books and lesson plans and working stress and I will close my eyes and remember my perfect boy, swaying happily away on his swing, just the two of us in the quiet park giggling at each other.

Even a squirrel came and watched us for a bit about a metre away. I shit you not! It was like a Disney film.

They say treasure every moment because you never get this time back and you say 'Shut the Feck up it's bloody hard work'. But something tells me I should have spent less time moaning - and more time cuddling and taking long walks in the park, and playing on the swings.

I intend on making this last week count.

As for you all - I have loved keeping this diary of my confinement and I hope you have enjoyed reading my misadventures.

My confinement may be over .... but I am sure I will be back soon in some other guise - watch this space.

Back to the beginning




2 comments:

  1. oh no - the second blog that announced it's closing!! I shall miss you but enjoy the next stage of your life! Unconfined!!

    And what a lovely squirrely image of a park :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks! It was lovely. Left my camera at home and cursed all the way back.
      Here is my new blog if you're interested - http://practicalguidetojoy.blogspot.co.uk

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